Are you emotionally resilient?

Do you adapt well in times of stress and recover swiftly from adverse situations? Do you accept problems and calmly look for solutions? I expect for most people the answer to these questions is ‘sometimes.’ At other times you may react by withdrawing inside, becoming anxious and depressed or being angry and blaming others for your stressful situation.

Resilience means the capacity to recover quickly from difficulties and implies a certain toughness and grit. It means overcoming whatever life throws at you. However, realistically it can often be a battle to return to your previous state, rather than a bouncing back action. The perseverance to get there shows resilience.

Imagine a bendy ruler; you can cause it stress by bending it. Resilience is not the ability to tolerate this bending without breaking, but rather to bend with the stress and return to a natural position. Unlike a ruler, this action can mean we become stronger, increasing our resilience with each battle won.

Human beings are on the whole resilient; we wouldn’t have survived on earth for millions of years otherwise. However, we all encounter situations where we find it hard to be resilient, some more than others.

With most of my clients, if not all, one of my main aims is to find their own inner resources which can help them with their problem. For example, with someone who is struggling to be confident at work, we look for other areas in their life where they have shown confidence and transfer these confident feelings to their workplace. All of us have the resources to solve our problems, but often fear and self-doubt takes over. These resources or inner strengths are our resilience. They are within us but sometimes we need help to find them.

I also help my clients to look for past occasions where they have overcome great difficulty. 

We discuss how they found the strength and perseverance to get through that difficulty, proving that they have applied resilience in the past. Getting through a problem and coming out the other side, showing that you didn’t fall to pieces but learnt from the experience, builds our resilience.

Hypnotherapy can also help with perspective. If we see something as insurmountable, out of our control and without hope, (all characteristics of depression), it is much harder to be resilient. If you believe that getting through a problem is possible, you’re more than likely halfway there. Hypnosis is an effective way to gain optimism again, giving you the opportunity to express doubts and fears and challenging negative thought patterns. Our thoughts influence our actions and physical health.

Some of us are born more sensitive to stress and uncertainty than others. Of course, there are many benefits to this sensitivity, such as greater empathy and depth of feeling However, we can all prepare for adversity, stress and uncertainty just like any sensible business does, and by doing so we develop our resilience.

Creating social networks and building bonds with family and friends will mean you have support when you need it most. Humans are social creatures, most of us cannot survive without these social ties. Not only do others pick us up when we’re down but spending time with loved ones is what often what makes us truly happy.

Other ways to increase our resilience include saving money so you have a cushion in hard times. Making goals and breaking them down so you have purpose. Being assertive in your actions; people who come to see me show resilience just by making the decision to try to solve their problem. Look after your body by eating, sleep and exercising well as you will need the energy and strength in times of difficulty. Learn to find humour in the darkest hours; laughter is good for our mind and bodies. Don’t let the small things get you down. They will wear you out so that when the big stuff happens, you’re too exhausted to deal with it.

If you would like help to deal with a problem in your life and would like to try hypnotherapy, please get in contact via my contact page.